No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
