so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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