ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Who died my cat blue again?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
