we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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