you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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