What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
