Porn is love you can see.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
