I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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