New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
