I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
"it" just moved
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Who died my cat blue again?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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