Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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