They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
