The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My penis needs a shock collar
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
