At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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