hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
