that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Randomize
