i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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