i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize