It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
