Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
