is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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