have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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