I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
