I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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