You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize