Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
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The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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