Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
