remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
