yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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