Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
