Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
