Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
