Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there was a trapeze. enough said
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
