so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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