Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
