please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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