Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
