yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
