I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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