do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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