nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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