We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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