I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
