Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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