Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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