I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
false alarm. still invincible.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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