i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
