You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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