Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
