also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there's paper in my vomit.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
