Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize