seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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