I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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