So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
