the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
