for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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