hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
