Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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